Monday 07-02-2022 - 15:58

Trigger Warning: Talk of Sexual Assault, Violence against Women

 

“Research finds that 97% of women in the UK have been sexually harassed”. That was a news site headline from March 2021, with the recent reaction to the murder of Sarah Everard. 

 

It is the only news headline that has ever really stuck with me.

 

97% is a scary and harrowing statistic on its own, but what scares me even more is that this statistic applies to women ages 18-24.

 

Growing up, I was always told: walk on well-lit paths; don’t go out alone; walk in a big group; text when you arrive home. To me, this always seemed stupid - why should I fear for my safety in this day and age? Nevertheless, I did it anyway because honestly, I do fear for my safety.

 

Violence against women isn’t something new. It’s been around for centuries, from the atrocities of Ted Bundy in the 1970s, Jack the Ripper in the 1880s, even dating as far back as Ancient Greece. Countless women victimised and killed, for nothing other than being women. The fact that such atrocities still happen in 2022 shows harmful and dangerous patriarchal beliefs still exist, which is not only dangerous to women in our community, but the future generations of women and girls we will raise.  

 

When I was 14, I was walking to the bus stop after finishing school for the day. It was a bitterly cold October day, so I had a huge coat on, thick black tights paired with a very worn pair of Doc Martens. I wore my school jumper and blazer on underneath my coat, a skirt down to my knees (I was terrified of getting told off for it being “too short”) and my hair tied in a very tight but messy ponytail. I had my headphones in, and I trudged down the street, just wanting to get home after a hard school day feeling mentally and physically exhausted. 

 

I passed some builders on my way home. I was alone and there were three of them. Three grown men, with a big white van and giving off a really uncomfortable vibe. 

 

“Give us a smile, love!”, they yelled. I felt sick. You know that anxious feeling you get, where you feel like you’re going to vomit everything you have eaten plus more? That kind of feeling sick. I turned the volume up in my earphones and walked quicker. I went home, got into bed and cried. I was 14. Fourteen.

 

My smile shouldn’t have meant anything to them, nor did it affect them in anyway, but it has affected me. There are so many photos of me showing a small sort of smile that barely count as a smile because I do not look happy at all. There were no big, cheesy grins for a very long time. 

 

I have since found my smile and I wear it proudly. My smile is a badge of honour - a symbol of strength for how far I have come as an individual. But I know plenty of women who don’t feel the same.

I am 20 now, and that moment has stuck with me for six years. I think now I have more confidence to shout something profound back, but there’s always the thought that could possibly get me into more trouble than it's worth. 

 

I am part of that 97% and I have been for six years, possibly even longer. To some people my experience may not seem worthy enough to be part of that statistic, but it was an unwanted, verbal remark that has since knocked my confidence. I am part of that 97%. 

 

We, as women, cannot settle for this. We should not have to be subjected to bigoted comments and feelings of inferiority, and such unwanted advances shouldn’t be happening in the first place. I shouldn’t have to text my friends to let them know I escaped any sort of harm and made it home safely, because I should feel safe and at ease on my streets.

 

This Sexual Violence and Sexual Assault Awareness Week, I am taking a stand with my sisters in the 97% and reclaiming what it means to be 21st Century woman. No longer will I let the unwanted comments of bigots affect how I see myself as a person, as a woman. A statistic does not determine myself worth, but rather empowers and pushes me to do more, so that one day, I can go into the world unafraid of what's waiting. I can be at peace knowing I am not alone, and hope that one day the next generation of women never have to feel afraid as I once did.

 

#ItsNotOkay

 

Edge Hill Students' Union staff have received sexual assault and sexual violence reporting, disclosure and awareness training from RASA Merseyside. If you have been affected by sexual assault or sexual violence, our Advice Centre provides a safe, confidential and independent reporting service. If you require immediate support, contact Campus Support 24/7 on 01695 584227 / text 07785 928911.